How can you tell when your heart stops?
There's a small, really small moment, where you must realize something like:
"WTF... my heart sto..."
And then you're gone
You can come back, with the help of some funny little shocks of course...
But what if that moment, just when you know, it's something mystical, just like they say, the white tunel, or your soul lifting in the room, or the voice, whatever... only those who come back can give us a glimpse of this particular event... it's not our turn to know yet... I hope....
So...
Is your heart pumping?


[Mrs. K i t e ]
mine is...

[ Mrs. K i t e ]

The guy with the green apron wandered around the coffee shop, wondered about his paycheck, and the Canadian cyclist opened itunes, and that was sweet, incomplete. The background music was nice and jazzy. And the coffee was good, I drank again and I saw a women with a pony-tail sitting next to the Canadian, and she looked like a flight attendant, then a really short man approached the guy with the green apron and asked for a caramel mocchiato, and the employee kept thinking about his paycheck, at the same time, a policeman with a horrible hangover came out of the restroom and left without buying anything, minuets later, he came back again and went inside the restroom,… again. And the Canadian played with his red long hair and beard. 30 seconds after, the policeman came out again and the Canadian stood up, showing a Québec patch in his shorts.

[ Mrs. K i t e ]

Andy was dreaming about chasing butterflies. Then, all of a sudden, something woke him up. It was a dragon, a big blue dragon with spikes. Any other kid would’ve run to mom’s room, but not Andy. He stretched his hand until he reached the rough skin of this dragon, he lifted his face and saw his shiny gem-like eyes.

“Who are you?” he asked.

“I’m your dragon.”

“What’s your name” he asked again.

“What’s my name?” he answered

“Eind.” The boy told him.

“I’m Eind, the blue dragon.

“And, what can you do Eind.”

“Where do you want to fly today?” the dragon answered

“I want to go somewhere no one has ever seen.”

So the boy got in Eind’s back and they flew through the window, across the sky, heading north.

Imagination works. This is the way I write.

[Mrs. K i t e ]

“What the hell are you talking about?”
And I was talking about it.
And you didn’t listen.
You always do, but not now.
And I wished it had ended the hour before, right when you insisted on going to the park.
But it was late.
And I was tired.
And the talking continued.
And the voice in my head kept calling that person I didn’t know anymore.
But you where there.
And I decided it was worth trying.
It was easier swallowing my pride, than grilling my heart.

[ Mrs. K i t e ]

we’re flying, we’re dreaming, we’re falling, we’re bleeding.

it's aching, it’s turning, it’s comming, it’s cozy

I don’t think he knew we was dying, not at that time anyways. The doctors had been in 10 minutes ago, and he was still with that same naïve smile. So I held his hand, and he told me hopeful words that couldn’t have been of a nearly-dead person. We talked about usual things, my mother, our niece, and the weather. I mentioned the roof had a leak, and he promised to fix it as soon as he was out of the hospital. It had started raining, and I went for a coffee at the hall’s machine. Took out 3 quarters and a nickel to get a mocha-latte. The steam from the cup blurred my glasses, I entered back into the room, and a movie was on. I got into the bed, by his side. I leaned my head on his chest, as I heard his weak heart pump.

[Mrs K i t e ]

The heart an office where "Mr. No One" wins in chess and the fortune-tellers guess, and they ask for money, imagine that. We will be your umbilical cord, your confessional, your ointment.The epidemics were the day before yesterday, and the wrinkles are made of play-doh. So come when you get tired of growing up and the dreams are coming late. J.Sabina

Not done yet, not sure where I am though, there’s still things to do, things to say, things to write and to sing and to shout.

Come here, when you’re tired of growing up, it’s the place where you want to be when there’s nowhere else to go.

Keep it unreal, keep it strange, keep it crazy, keep it mad!

[Mrs K i t e ]

This is the story of the story that spilled, some other writing exercise, bold words are those which I heard in today's mind/music playlist, and all this turned of to be the story that spilled. Spilled ideas, and states of mind from this flying kite. Read it straight, upside down word by word, you might be able to spill some ideas of your own.

World is strange. I remember the tree nights when you took misery to a holyday and slowly thought of a private place to go before the devil played with us and took us straight and forever to stay tenderly inside that book. I even love the face of the friendly people you know. Today was it, time to quit my job because I suppose I deserve a sign that shows my eyes how to smile without the need of pain, nothing better than a friend to come along and expect it. I keep misreading the rent bills and biting my lips, the sky fell and broke the flowers, they tried to jump into the air but they couldn’t make it. Yesterday the wet street made a bike trip and fall though the world. So I decided to begin this story before I sing everything how it goes. My moon! Follow me to the next whiskey bar you find and certainly, we must not die today.

[ Mrs. K i t e ]
I have a soul... or I had...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
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And there’s no way to explain, no where to go, you’re just left with whatever is left of your ideals, whatever hope you have. You start a Revolution, you say you want one? You must really really want it, feel it from your soul, deep deep in yourself like an aching heart, like if another being where getting out of you and trying to shout, like…. It is kinda indescribable I think, but the feeling, that feeling is,,, revolutionary…

"Hey, hurry up, or we'll be late."

"Yes. I'll be right there."

"Do you have everything."

"Hum.. everything..."

"Signs, ?"

"Check"

"Markers? T-shirts?"

"Check, check."

"Well, then, i guess we're ready to go..."

"I guess so."

That would be the last time I left my house, the streets where dangerous, we knew that, what we didn't know at that time, was the chaos we where facing when we got there. I miss her, everyday at every hour, and I wonder if she's all right. 'Cause I'm sure I'm not.

[ Mrs. K i t e ]

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        
                                     

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I didn’t know how to start, everything had turned strange, maybe there was nothing different after all, but still, I couldn’t figure out what to do, so I did the only thing I know how to do in that sort of occasions, not that I’ve been in something like that before, but I was some kind of natural response to that uncertainty. I took a pencil, and I drew some swirls and filled the page, in the other side of the page I started writing, I don’t know what I wrote, perhaps I’ll never remember, but I wrote a lot. I filled that page, and the next one, and the next one. I knew I was done when the pencil fell by itself from my hand and it’s graphite point broke leaving a spot in the paper. I took a breath, I didn’t even read it. Perhaps I spent some minutes looking at the drawing before I stared ripping every single page from the notebook. Then, I left my room, went for a match and burned the whole thing, I saw how the paper turned black and my words flew in the wind in form of ashes, and they left, they left me. I went back, words didn’t. I went back, and I finally rested, from those words, which no longer inhabited my mind, which now flew free, and as they where free, so was I.

[ Mrs K i t e ]

It’s a look in someone’s face, it’s the look that tells you that something is wrong, that perhaps, your life has changed forever, there’s nothing you can do about it by then, and you’ll never trust this look, you always, ALWAYS know what it means, but at the same time you never know until they speak. You know exactly what will come out of their lips, you can almost say it at the same time, and that’s it, when you wish you where dreaming, when you know nothing will ever be the same.

It comes from a doctor when they’re about to tell you “I’m sorry”, just like in movies, or when you get a call, there’s no look there, but you know what are they calling for, you feel it. Everything would be so much easier if we didn’t have that. Because when you do, then, for a moment you know, what you don’t want to know, and since you don’t have time to tell anyone you’re by yourself, it might be for few seconds, but at that moment, you’re alone, you and your soul sharing the pain, there’s nothing worse. Painful and lonely.

[ Mrs K i t e ]

It’s one of those glances you get a Thursday afternoon, when everyone already left, and you’re all alone, sitting on the desk. You decide it’s late, and think about finishing the day after, so you get your things and leave, you see the janitor on your way out and you smile, knowing he still has a long night. Then as you walk to the subway you see some faces, most of them tired and as you take the stairs down, you see the sticky floor that characterizes these entrances, you take out ticket and wait for it to come, and it’s a lonely place right now, unlike the mornings. There’s a bright but dead light you tend to avoid, and you make a small movement of anxiety as you hear the railroad lines vibrating and that acute and long noise as the subway stops. You get in and sit on the first seat you see, your eyes are closing but you don’t want to miss your destiny. And as you look out of the window each time it stops, as the name of the station flashes, you wish it said “nowhere”.

[Mrs K i t e ]