Timely speaking, I just got back from another journey, cet fois, we went to God. Relax, I'm not a renewed man with a purpose and a cleansed mind. But for technicalities I can say I encountered God in my trip.

Being that said, and just to prolong the hype, I shall give you some context first. The voyage's main intention was having the voyageurs encounter themselves, and if possible, their raison d'être. To their bad chance, they were dealing with a penguin who spends too much time with himself, talking and discussing with all of his other selves. As for the raison d'être... well, that's a subject for a longer trip, I thought at least. (A trip i've been living and postponing at the same time, all the time)

Anyway, I knew I still had to found something, something lower than deep, that perhaps didn't lie at the bottom de moi même. Maybe, like most things that construct me, first I had to think it, then make it exist, so to finally feel it. Plus, I was willing to make an effort, those days I had too much of a gray sky above my head and a disgust for everything.

So, like I always do, I did things ma façon. Silence may be fine for those who can't almost hear the voices in their heads, but mine are bitching loud and clear. So, I spoke to them. I asked for advise and deep analysis of what was really wrong with me. What was I doing about life, and from that which aspects were the one failing? Anyway, the WhitePenguin, the ComfrontationPenguin and the CarePenguin had an agitated discussion of what was going on.

Given the confidentiality of the rendez-vous, I can't really get into detail, but know that their agreements were able to heal I'mthePenguin.

Having that done, now we had to find God, his amour infini, and how it affects us. You know my relationship with God has become better with time, but we weren't in those terms, neither did we planned to be. But again, for the exercise's sake I made an effort.

First I had to define why the concept of "the infinite love of God giving me strength" gave me the jivies. And it had something to do with the fact that I related it directly to the image of a mythological god that is almighty and creator. And let me tell you something, that's precisely the face of God I've had a very hard time dealing with, I dislike it not only because it is without logic, but it also defies rational thinking, as well as it gives people excuse for doing the most stupid things for the longest time. (if offended, close this blog and go read some more ancestral gibberish, fundamentalist).

Anyway, what needed to be done was to make a clear delimitation of the things I accepted about God, and the things I didn't. While I'm fully aware that it all comes in the same package, I think it's rather stupid to dismiss it all just because part of its content (and fallacious).

My definition of God was that it was a collective concept, inserted in the intangible strings of culture, and thus impregnated in any person connected to such network. This concept is so global and powerful that it really doesn't matter is such Universal entity as "GOD" exists, if it has such a power within society and the bases of culture, then it is as real as it gets because, and only because, all we ever do as humans nowadays are social constructions.

So, this huge construction plays a main role in all aspects of human history and relations. And most of the doctrines that study it, include a message of love, and ultimately achieving peace. Peace and love, I can relate to and accept, thus I can coexist with this dens fabric of cumulative anecdotes and ideas, called God.

And so, because of my definition of God, it can't have any power or scope outside the fabric of society, thus it is not a creator, it has no infinite power, and can certainly not end the world with a blink of an eye. So I had to make a partition of the mythic God and the spiritual-loving God. One is confined to myths, stories, and the most reactionary of moral systems. While the other is an ever changing stream of hope and benevolence to humans. (Still doubting the point of my partition?)

Anyway, this was what I already thought. The people guiding this journey to Godville were religious, and I associate them with the spiritual God. So, when imposed with the task of thinking of the "infinite love given to you by God" it was a clash of concepts. Why? Because no fabric of social constructions can possibly become tangent strength, or make you feel loved if it is a collective, yet independent collection of personal believes. Or at least so I thought.

Then they came to me, the various times when people confess giving up, and finding strength in prayer, and in the love of God. And also the huge efforts people do to give love and praise to an invisible entity, to feel a purpose, or something else. And so I thought, that this God network is not only present in the ideas of people, but also in their affections. (naturally their affections are within their ideas, but I didn't though the relation was so close.) People feel safe with this network of love, because it is there.

Now, I don't mean that A's prayers and love to God will transfer trough the air particles to B, because B feels lonely and sad. What I mean is that B has to develop a sort of "self-esteem" system for when B needs it. And this "self-esteem", meaning the love the person feels from God, can only be made with the assurance of this love network; which is normally constructed by the rituals and traditions suggested by various doctrines.

And so it made sense, and at last I was able to make peace with the religious aspect of the journey. It was at that moment when I found God, wandering the forests.

Tu ne sais pas maintenant, mais tu seras ma journal de voyage. Et ceci, n'est un moleskine non plus. (ouais, chére D dans le monde physique Simone est marron et belle).

Anyway, at the beginning of this journal there's an inscription made by Marcel Proust (oú quelq'un en faisant un citation) "Le véritable voyage de découverte ne consiste pas à chercher de nouveaux paysages mais à avoir de nouveaux yeux."

This being stated, this last trip did gave me different eyes, and changed me somehow. I went to a small town, at north. No more than 700 people, excessive offer of silence and thermal waters. The name is Temacapulin, and the purpose was to assist an international congress of people affected by dams. The state plans to build a dam that will flood the town and vanish forever centuries of history, traditions and culture.

My plan was to go there, do some voluntary work and learn whatever I could about sustainability. I wasn't planning to be broken in such a way my future plans seemed ridiculous and useless. So it goes.

Previous to this, I must admit two things that up until now may have not been quite clear: 1-Je suis mexican. 2- Up until this day, it has only been a matter of land, never have I felt like belonging to a territory, a culture, a tradition or a collective society.

And so the idea of leaving this land has never troubled me, if any it has been a relieve in current conditions (read the news). This could be an interesting study of national identity crisis in times of globalization, I that's not the intention. Rather than to state I have had no strings attaching me to this land, its people or to anything else in here.

But it required a godforsaken town, full of people from all corners of the world, for me to see something Diego Golombek once said: In places like this, if I don't do anything about it, who will? It was not just a matter of sustainability in a matter of environment and economy. It was all the injustice, the impunity, the lack of effective public servers; the lack of law.

Hearing the desperate cries of the people, looking at their situations in the face, realizing they're not so far from my geographic reality; all these things made me shiver. Some must do something about, and I can't just look away and pray to the Sun these people will get assistance. I need to do something about it, I need to be there; if not I, at least know for sure it is happening.

And so, feeling firmly about fighting for this causes I notice my feet a little heavier, strings commence to root to the ground, to the mother earth, to this place, to these people. Et alors, je me suis cassé nouveau.

Joeux Anniv ma chére terre