Showing posts with label short story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label short story. Show all posts

Atento en estos días de calor.

Posted by Mrs. Kite | Posted in , | Posted on Monday, June 27, 2011

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Tómate tu tiempo. Respira profundamente para mantener el pulso.
Se que la emoción y la ansiedad pueden estar muy presentes, pero es clave mantener la calma.
Observa como se mueve y no hagas nada, al menos las primeras tres veces que decida detenerse convenientemente frente a ti. Parecerá que la estás dejando ir por siempre, pero repito, no desesperes. Las herramientas son importantes, pero no demasiado. No seas muy pretencioso, tus manos hábiles pueden ser suficiente si has sido entrenado en estas complicadas artes.
Ya que tengas bien estudiados sus movimientos, no lo medites demasiado y lánzate, rápido pero preciso (tener un fondo contrastante puede ser muy útil). Si no estás usando herramientas, tendrás que cerrar la mano en el momento preciso y atraparla. A mucha gente le da asco hacer esto a mano limpia por lo que recomendamos usar algún tipo de protección o artefacto, al menos las primeras veces.
Atento, que en estos días de calor abundan sobre todo moscas con relleno. A nadie le gustaría abrir la mano para encontrarse con una pasta de huérfanas larvas amarillas retorciéndose.

The four friends and the sinner's palace

Posted by I'm the penguin | Posted in | Posted on Thursday, July 15, 2010

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Once upon a time there were four boys whose friendship and deeds transcended their little village in the mountain. At their young age the were already known to have solved criminal mysteries, caught villainous juvies and rescued youngsters in distress. Their adventures were told everywhere they went, and they would make history, they thought. That is until one day they ended up in a place of decadence without redemtion, and then their lives changed forever.

Red, who feared nothing and laughed in the sight of danger was dared by one of his dearest friends, Yellow to find one thing none of the four had seen. Yellow had the sharpest tongue of them all and was sure Red would never collect anything that would have escaped Blue's natural curiosity and thirst of knowledge, or Green's affinity to collecting rare objects and learning their stories. Yellow had finally found a challenge for the bravest of them all, to outcome his own friends at their expertises.

Red went to the most inhospitable of places to find the most strange of oddities, but one way or the other, at least one of the four eleven agers had seen it. The boys traveled to the den where all flea-filled wigs end up, they visited the old manor where the crazy people who took too much medicine ended up. They even went to the town's tavern.

No luck.

At least no until a city map showed them that there was only one building they had never visited. Yellow wondered if they were allowed there in the first place, to what red answered some taunt that ended with the boys walking to the last place on Earth they thought they would go.

When they were finally there, they saw it, the place where no other kid had ever gone before, the hell house every single person told them never to look at. The building was not horrid, in fact in look well preserved, and actually had a pretty facade. But in its door were engraved the two words that read eternal fire: Sex Shop

"This is as far as we'll get, I'm sure we're not supposed to even be looking at it" said green, taking steps away from the place. "Oh no, hell no, we're not going anywhere. You wanted to see something you had never seen before, here it is" said red as he came closer to that place of sin. After some childish argument among the boys, the thing finally settled by teasing whoever wouldn't go in was a girl... Anyway, they all went in.

Given the nature of this tale, it would be too perverse to describe the contents of said store, damaging the moral of the reader. But it would only be fair to describe the aftermath of the boys' doing.

Red at last found his match, something he was not ever going to look further into, something he was not willing to take to the end. Something that made him look away.

Green at the beginning was wondering which of the articles would be of collector's value, that is until he saw a very colorful magazine showing her mother in a cover, in ways no boy wants to ever see his mother... or any other person for that matter.

Yellow's curiosity for what was under girls' skirts died, it was not satisfied, it just died. In fact, he swore he would never look at any of that ever again. Lucky him he got to break that promise years later.

But for blue the experience was not that unpleasant. The colors, the odors, the shapes and the entire atmosphere of being in a secret place where he was not supposed to be made him squeal. It was a place where everything was unknown and there he could discover everything, but at the end of the day, only he would know it, only he would have that, and that gave him a feeling of belonging and contempt yearning. At last he had found a place to call home.

Secuestro

Posted by I'm the penguin | Posted in | Posted on Tuesday, May 25, 2010

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Antes de sacar las llaves de su edificio, un ventarron frío la envolvió completa y se fue tan rápido como vino, dejando en ella un pensamiento que reptó hasta lo más profundo de su razón. ¿y qué si en ese momento una camioneta de Rompevidas llegara y la secuestrara? Seguro se la llevarían, atarían su conciencia y sus ganas de una cena caliente en casa. La desvestirían de sus complejos e inhibiciones y tocarían cada una de sus fibras sensibles hasta que jadeante azotara del cansancio.

La mantendrían en un cuarto alejado de la civilización donde nadie pudiera escuchar sus quejas y reproches. Ahí encontraría más gente como ella, que a la fuerza fueron extirpados de sus vidas y ahora estaban condenados una incertidumbre desconocida. Después de enseñarle todo lo que desde su torre de aspiraciones prefabricadas no podía ver, fue sometida a un trato de verdades calcitrantes y bellezas postergadas.

Cuando los Rompevidas supieran que ya no podían hacerle nada más, llamarían a Sociedad pidiendo un rescate por la rehen, se tendría que hacer un retiro millonario de la ceunta de ahorros de la rehen del banco de las expectativas, en efectivo. No quedaría nada. No se involucraría a la policía ni a los medios. Todo pasaría como si nada.

Una vez terminada la transacción, los Rompevidas la llevarían en medio de un camino a un destino incierto. Allí ella sería dejada en libertad, tanta que le sería imposible regresar a su vida cotidiana.

Y tan pronto como el viento que vino y se fue, el repentino pensamiento la dejó y retomó conciencia. Sacó ráopido sus llaves de su bolsa, eligió la adecuada y antes de insertarla en la ranura volteó a su espalda, no vio nada. Metió la llave, volteó a ver el cuarto piso del edificio, donde yacía su cocina, donde prepararía la cena, su cama donde dormiría y su colección de tazas de té que usaría una vez al mes. Voletó de nuevo a su espalda, y se mantuvo inmovil por unos segundos, los segundos se hicieron minutos.

Esperó
¿a qué?
No estaba segura.

Al cabo de 10 minutos tomó un largo susprio, giro la llave y entró. Al cerrar tuvo la sensación de haber escuchado rejas golpear en ves de madera.

Your friend the kite

Posted by I'm the penguin | Posted in | Posted on Saturday, May 01, 2010

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You put your head trough the window, the wind enters and shakes everything up, it strikes your face and plays with your hair, you turn and in the jungle of toys and hidden worlds you pick the kite and run to the door. You go as fast as you can, and you can still feel the wind in your face as you go down the stairs and finally exit.

The trees are really green, the grass is still wet and you can feel it in your ankles and the Sun shines everywhere. The clouds are fluffy and form all kinds of dinosaurs and creatures of the night, you grab your kite by the string and start running. You run trough the golden meadows, pass trough the giant trees, the kite is not gaining any height. The you look at it, kind of disappointed, but you trust him, he will rise and fly, you tell him so, he must rise and fly.

So you stand there and start spinning, and you keep on spinning, spinning, spinning until you see the kite finally doing it, it is rising, almost levitating towards the fluffy clouds and deep blue blue sky. You knew he would do it. Now you run again with it.

You twist and shout, your kite is flying, you're taking it everywhere, for him to see the world from the top, you show him the pond, you run by the red oaks for him to say hi to the squirrels, and then you finally take him to the super secret place. He has earned it. You take a left turn in the giant gray rocks, climb the miniature waterfall and end up in your secret fortress. He might not see because of the trees, but you know he like it.

After a while there you fill a pull from the string, you wonder if it is the trees trying to play with your kite, but then you look, the kite is calling for you. So you to a place where you two can see each other and he pulls you forward. You're stranged at first, but you follow him anyway. The kite pulls faster and faster forward and now you have to run to keep up with him. Your feet against the ground begin to hurt, until at last, they are no longer against the ground.

As you run towards the kite, you realize you are no longer stepping the floor, but instead running in the air, your kite is taking you. You give one last look at the distant ground, say your farewells, and keep on running in the wind, to wherever the kite takes you.

Man and solitude

Posted by I'm the penguin | Posted in | Posted on Sunday, March 14, 2010

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In a crooked hotel in the middle of downtown there is an empty room where only moths, grey and dusty curtains ever exist, everything else only makes an apologetic appearance and leaves. Today solitude will make an entrance, and the roaring whispers of desperation will become quiet. Like always, solitude will be there only for a few weeks, but will leave the room with her stench, which in case you didn't know is a natural repellent of Jazmin and good taste.

Solitude doesn't know this yet, but when she arrives to the dinner next to the Downtown hotel ,she will ask for a coffee free of intentions or sugar, but will learn that the only one coffee container in the whole dinner will be in another person's table. On normal conditions this would have only made her be annoyed, but in this case it made her destroy a man; but that's getting too ahead. Solitude will ask for the coffee, but some guy will be using it and the waitress will take it back and forth from table to table. Solitude will no longer be drinking the coffee, but like she is: selfish and impulsive she will only ask for it for the heck of it. The man eating a honey-burger will laugh at this and take the coffee as an excuse to pass a move onto solitude. She will be pleased.

This man, Man, will move to her table and make a humorous remark about her drink and foreigners in that town, naturally solitude won't laugh, instead she will get an ice cube out of her bag and put it in the table, then she will spray some lily scent in her hands and lips. Man will like everything about solitude, because subconsciously it will remind him of her now dead absent mother. So solitude will eventually give into the small talk, which will lead them into knowing how much they have in common, like their dislike for girls named Madagascar and their love and hate relationship with Nietzsche's Thus Spoke Zarathustra. Ten she will see an open window and let her scarf become a whisper and fly out; this will mean she'll let him in.

The relationship will kick off with chalky sex and tea-time conversation, Man will notice her daddy issues (which she hasn't) and he will be aware of her commitment troubles, and so he will take it slowly even if Man will quietly begin to love her, every inch of her massless skin and body. Solitude will let herself go and not be her usual, she will let him tag along in her trips around the world, she will break some rules of her job, but she won't care, she'll be having a blast. As for feelings go solitude will remain herself until her last breath.

Man will write love, build dreams and sing happiness because he will for once feel complete. Solitude will only be having fun. One starred day Solitude will come out of the shower and Man will be in the room waiting for her with a envelope of promises and a box of doom, which will contain a ring.

He will propose, she'll spray lily scent and run to his arms, she will then whisper something to his ear then grab her scarf and Solitude will make a departure.

Now Man will stand there for a while thinking of the words the now vanished concept had said, no doctor would ever agree with his version of the facts, but he will swear from that moment on that he had heard his heart breaking into a million pieces. The pieces will cut into his muscles, his organs and very deep into his soul, it will hurt, badly. Man will lose his name and his promises, along with his good taste and love for jazmin, but now he would never again be lonely.

Tarde a la cena

Posted by I'm the penguin | Posted in | Posted on Sunday, January 31, 2010

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Otto dejó su oz ensangrentada en la rendija del patio y se apresuró al lavadero a meter las manos en agua, allí las tallaba frenéticamente para que la sangre seca y estiércol se le despegaran de los dedos, las comisuras de las manos y entre las uñas. Era de noche y solo se escuchaba los grillos a lo lejos, una que otra vaca o cerdo que no dormía por razones extrañas; en el cielo no se veían más que tenues estrellas, no había luna y todo estaba muy obscuro. Otto no podía ver su reflejo en el agua.

Después de varios minutos de tallar con rastrillo y jabón corriente sus manos Otto escuchó una leve respiración detrás de él, de reojo intento ver pero obviamente no había ninguna sombra, volteó y frente a él estaba una figura pálida de orejas puntiagudas, pómulos muy pronunciados y unas ojeras enormes. La figura era como la de un hombre, pero este flotaba sobre el suelo. Otto se mostró impávido ante la habilidad de un hombre de tal aspecto que flotara, en vez se inmutó al ver la oz sangrienta en manos del ente.

-Victor, ya te he dicho que ni siquiera puedes darle una probadita a la oz, no te puedes controlar- dijo Otto arrebatándole de las manos al flotante orejón la oz que sostenía cerca de su lengua.

-Pero solo una chiquita, te juro que no hago nada, palabra de cartero- dijo Victor aferrándose a la oz que brillaba con sangre seca y pútrida.

-Los carteros no tienen código de honor, además tu sólo repartes el correo con tal de flotar por ahí asustando gente- Otto finalmente le arrebató la paleta rojiza a Víctor y la echó al lavadero. A Víctor no le quedó más que hacer una expresión de gran dolor ante tal perdida, murmurar una que otra cosa contra su neurótico hermano y se dirigió flotando hacia la casa de concreto gris frente a ellos.

-¿Qué otro chiste tendría tener estas orejas, estas ojeras si no es para ser libres y revolotear por allí hermano, tomando ozes sangrientas, asustando viejecillas al ocaso y robando ganado solo para darle unas mordiditas?- dijo Víctor en la entrada de su casa de concreto antes de hacer su salida dramática aclimatada por un portonazo.

Otto farfulló y regresó al lavadero a terminar de limpiar el instrumento para matar vacas. Otto era un carnicero al cual no le agradaban los cuchillos o machetes, optaba por ozes y guadañas, les daba un toque más clásico. Otto era un carnicero que no comía su carne, únicamente en ocasiones cuando nadie lo veía el cerraba la tienda, se metía al almacén y daba unas ligeras lamiditas a la moronga, al desperdicio hemático de puerco y de pilón le clavaba el colmillo a la carne que después se haría picadillo; todo claro sin que nadie, mucho menos sus hermanos lo supieran, sino ¿quién le compraría a un carnicero que no tira la sangre podrida como Dios manda?

Cuando Otto finalmente se dirigió a su casa se molestó al ver todas las velas prendidas –Víctor, con un demonio ¿por qué prendes las velas? Se va a quemar la casa, o peor, nos vamos a encandilar- gritó Otto a su hermano, al cual podía oír del otro lado de la casa gimoteando por contenerse la risa.

-Otto, tu bien sabes que Cano no come a gusto si no hay iluminación decente- dijo Víctor, como si en verdad le preocupara si Cano comiera o no. –Víctor, ¡Cano es ciego! Por más luces que pongas no va a ver- dijo Otto apagando todas las velas que podía, odiaba la luz del fuego.

-Y sólo porque es ciego ¿crees que no siente? ¡Criatura desalmada!- Víctor a penas y podía contener la risa. – Sangre seca de tu sangre seca, es tu mismísimo hermano y lo tratas con la punta de tu bota- recitaba Víctor, como parte de un melodrama ya bien estudiado.

-Hoy no estoy para estos jueguitos, hablando de Cano, ¿dónde está? No es tarde ya para un maestro estar en la calle- se preguntó Otto, con más preocupación por su entendimiento de qué hacían los maestros normales que por su hermano qué aún ciego podía lanzar una bellota a un gato y dejarlo sin ojo, que lejos de ser una metáfora era su pasatiempo.

-Ha de estar pegándole a los niños estúpidos, esas piltrafas no aprenden ni siquiera a azotones, yo no sé porque se esfuerzan en enseñarles de aritmética y ciencia si van a acabar siendo pobres granjeros como sus padres, y los padres de sus padres. La gran tragedia de haber nacido, criaturas ingenuas.- Víctor estaba a punto de empezar otro de sus monólogos sobre la existencia y las desgracias del mundo cuando Otto lo calló. –Creo que hay que ir a buscarlo- dijo el hermano mayor con expresión de quien ve a un muerto cavar su propia tumba.

- Y qué ¿ahora puedes ver el futuro? Si nada le pasó, se ha de haber tropezado con una raíz o algo así- Víctor mustió y se río de solo pensar su idea.

-No cerebro de lechuga, escucha- dijo Otto, rasgando el aire con un dedo, como juntando el sonido en su dirección. Se quedaron en silencio por unos segundo hasta que ambos se vieron a los rostros y salieron disparados hacia la puerta de la casa, se abrió con un portazo y ambos salieron flotando por el pueblo cual nubes de polvo.

–Crees que haya…- Víctor preguntó

-Quizás tenía razón y azotaba a los niños…- mintió Otto, los dos sabían que era lo que iban a ver al aterrizar en la escuela primaria nocturna. Al tocar tierra pareció que los llantos frenéticos se agudizaran y las dos figuras altas y orejonas se irguieron y apresuraron hacia las puertas de la vieja escuela rural.

Corrieron por un pasillo estrecho, Víctor resbaló y cayó al suelo por lo resbaloso del piso, Otto corrió hacia los niños que gritaban y lloraban como desquiciado y con una tenue luz de lámpara vio tres cuerpecillos inertes en el suelo y otros ocho arremolinándose en una esquina. Había otra figura en la obscuridad, era una figura alta y muy vieja, le sobresalían orejas puntiagudas y se alcanzaba a ver su perfil delgado y afilado. La siniestra criatura sujetaba un bocadillo en forma de muñeco grande del cual escurría un espeso fluido que brillaba escarlata. El pequeño aperitivo aún movía débil mente sus deditos.

-¡Cano!- gritó Otto con todas sus fuerzas –Juramos que no comeríamos humanos, lo juramos. Por décadas no hemos probado una gota de sangre con tal de no caer en tentación.- Otto gritaba con ira, frustración y un poco de hambre.

Cano solo giro su ciega cabeza hacia Otto, de no haber sido ciego Cano se hubieran mirado fijamente por unos segundos, pero no era el caso entonces Cano solo mantuvo su cabeza hasta que las ganas pudieron más y regresó a su cena.

-Víctor, ayúdame a detener a Cano, dile que lo hacemos por vivir en paz, por cansancio de huir, haz otro de tus teatros para convencerlo- gritó Otto desesperado en busca de su hermano. Era muy tarde, Víctor estaba en el piso lamiendo la sangre, deslizándose en ella, gozándola y bañándose en su tibio espesor.

-No tu Víctor, por favor…- Otto se lo decía más para sí mismo que para su hermano, que estaba en un trance profundo. Otto y sus hermanos se habían mantenido por muchos años a base de tomates, sandías, granadas o cualquier otra cosa roja, pero no sangre. Una gota era suficiente para desatar nuevamente el demonio que naturalmente eran. Claro, Otto tenía sus escapadas morales en la carnicería, pero nunca compararía carne pútrida de cerdo con el néctar fresco de la vida de un pequeño infante. Otto sabía que no debía hacerlo, no quería hacerlo, eso estaba mal y el estaba harto de seguir huyendo como un monstruo.

Con cada gota de fuerza de voluntad Otto se encaminó hacia la salida, sentía que cada partícula polvosa de su ser lo jalaba hacia el cuarto, especialmente de su pantalón. Otto luchó contra su instinto, lucho contra sus deseos más básicos e instintivos y paso a paso logró alejarse de poco a poco del matadero, pero siguió sintiendo el jaloneo. Se dio un momento para voltear a su pierna y vio a una pequeña niña jalando de su pantalón llorando por ayuda.

A Otto le dio un vuelco el corazón y se arrodillo junto a la indefensa criaturita que lloraba, la abrazó y la levantó. El viejo inmortal se enterneció con la mirada de la pequeña infante, tan dulce e inocente. Y como cuando a un borracho de pueblo le sirven tepache y se lo ponen en la mano Otto no pudo más que ceder, y a los pocos segundo las niña ya no lloró, no lloró nunca más.

The night the school burned down

Posted by I'm the penguin | Posted in | Posted on Friday, January 29, 2010

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In the hope that dream sequences are not outdated I shall tell you a story only I know.

At first I was roaming around a public mall, but I didn't enter I was just walking around it, like waiting for something. That mall was special, it was the only thing close to a convenience store in miles from our school. Because, you might want to know, we were in a boarding high school with all the people we love and (not so much) cherish.

Then I recall being accompanied by a friend of mine, one of the prettiest girls I know, we were talking trash about school and other people like common teenagers. We were still outside the mall, and then given the dream status of the story I knew that somehow the mall was burning down in the inside. But I did nothing; I preferred to stay talking with my friend. Later that night, when we were back at the school we heard the horrible news that the mall had burn down and nobody had been able to do anything about it. A thousand people had died either burn or crushed by the crumbling building. Or so it goes.

I didn't felt guilty, at least not like I was supposed to. Instead I went to sleep. And since you can't really have dreams inside a dream (at least not me) I automatically woke up with Uncle Master, the head of deans, in my room telling me we had to leave. Me and a small group of other students had been brought to the lab where we were explained that we were some sort of special force group and we were to rescue people from a fire. The fire had extended to our school.

The dean explained that this was not a common fire, that it was a retarded one, which meant it burned slowly, which gave us more time. The downside is that nobody could see this retarded fire until it was too late, which could explain why people at the mall couldn't do anything about it. Like the good sunuvabitch I am I asked the dean how could he know about this if nobody was able to see the fire. He looked at me and said with his eyes three cold and sharp words "no stupid questions". So he explained how we were supposed to end the fire, he gave us a super potent universal solvent that could disintegrate doors and other obstacles, and a crystal alloy in dust that would suffocate the fire at the contact. We were freaking special with our solvents and dusts. My friend was there too, we started talking.

At this point I was supposed to know in the dream that this friend and I had been especially close lately and so we were chatting while the other honorable people saved lives. I can't remember if we even did something positive or an attempt to do anything to save anyone, we were having fun; but then she told me she had to go to her room for something real quick. I was going to wait but then I remembered the people who died in the mall, I wasn't able to do anything there, but maybe now I was going to do something, I'd be a hero.

So while others were going room by room saving people I thought of a bigger purpose, I thought I'd go to the boiler room where all the other machines were, because somehow I knew that if the fire got there it was all over. In what sort of boarding school is there a machine room? Anyway, while running to the basement I saw lots of people running around and some of my special team partners disintegrating crumbled walls that blocked the way. The school had begun to fall to its bases. When I finally got to the machine room it was all in flames, invisible flames that didn't burn. There I started to throw our magic crystal dust around in hopes that simple action got me the hero status. It didn't. The machines were okay, and I actually didn't know what any of them made, for all I know they were decoration; there are no decoration-saving heroes.

For some reason I knew my pretty friend was at the other side of the second door in the machine room, so I went there. I entered an immense gray and blue room with a really high ceiling, it was about 50 meters high, or at least it game me that impression. Then my friend and I started talking about life and such, how it was a terrible tragedy that nobody could have saved those poor people in the mall. I agreed, even if I had been able to, I didn't mentioned it. She began to cry, I didn't know what to do, so I awkwardly held her and told her things would be fine. She backed off and said she couldn't do this, said that living a double life as she did, she had no time to commit or anything, and so she ran away.

At that point I wish I had been heartbroken, or any of the sort, I wasn't. I was not sure why she had understood I wanted something else, I didn't. Maybe I was too flirty, bah, I couldn't flirt to save my life. To be honest I was content with the idea of rumors being told of us being in a relationship, she was really pretty, and that sure ought to give me some status of some sort. Was I a terrible person for thinking that? Maybe that's why she left me, even if there was nothing lo leave. The worst part was that I didn't feel bad, she was a good friend but wasn't vital, and God knows I didn't like her for reasons only you and I know.

The gray and blue room started to vanish and eventually I was standing in a rooftop somewhere sunny. I walked around to find where I was and I found a group of jocks playing around a pool. I went over there to ask them where we were, but they were busy laughing at my pajamas and the viscous fluid i held in a beaker. I thanked chance they hadn't seen the fire suffocating dust, it was shiny pink. As the indecent bullies they were they approached me to mock me and throw me around; terrible mistake. As soon as one was close enough I threw solvent to his eye, he screamed so hard I was sure people in other buildings could hear him. If I wasn't going to be a hero at the very least I wasn't going to be a victim.

So there was some sort of brawl, which was more a solvent delivery dance: they approached rhythmically, I delivered solvent, they cried in pain holding their eye, or their jaw, or head, or crotch. Any pain was good enough for me. At some point I thought I could get Uncle Master in trouble for using as a weapon what he had clearly gave me to save others, now I was going to be banned in disgrace; that I wouldn't allow. So I tried to run away, but the bullies kept following me, so I did what I thought was best. I affected their limbs in such a way they weren't able to move, then I threw them to the pool, I once heard people who drown end so swollen there is few they can tell about their bodies, I hoped that would be the case and that they would never link me to their deaths. I was only worried about the fact that anyone found out.

I went back to the machine room and climbed to the rooms, there was nobody left, just invisible fire. I used the dust I had left to throw it around; even if I wasn't sure the invisible fire was there. I thought it would be some story staying there, making sure nobody was left behind; when they found me I would be a hero, even more a martyr. Just imagine the funeral if by any chance I ended up dying. I bet there would be fireworks, are fireworks allowed in funerals? Maybe not, they would make an exception for me, the kid who stayed to save everyone else. My name would mean something then.

But later I aborted the idea, I had not even made a dramatic good bye letter or any of the things a natural martyr should have ready at all times. So I went out of the building, everyone was out in the parking lot with blankets, hot chocolate and so. "Where were you?" asked Uncle Master as he approached in a rush. "Checking if there was still someone in" I said, trying to sound as much as a hero as I could. "Well I signaled the report that everyone was out two hours ago, we where only looking for you" he said, I noticed he had been worried, but was he worried because I was some student? or was he worried especially for me? I guess I would never know.

"Sorry sir"

The only car I saw leave that night was a white Sedan, in the back seat was my pretty friend, she was being transferred.

Moby Dick-caused anxiety

Posted by I'm the penguin | Posted in , | Posted on Thursday, January 07, 2010

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"Are they really that bad?" asked Joni looking at his blue-yellow bleached sneakers. They weren't precisely ruined, but the strap of denim hanging from each left side of the shoes wasn't really fashionable as he had thought that morning.

As Stacey rolled her eyes she dived into Joni's wardrobe searching for decent shoes. "Geez, you could've at last left some that didn't look like the left overs of a clown's closet" yellow mustard and Mexican pink slip-ons flew across Joni's room.

"A clown's closet? really? Stacey if that's the best you can come up with, you're not alright. "Joni was a concerned friend, he was able to look trough Stacey's common hysteria and tried to help a friend in need.

"Just put your effing shoes on and get outside" she said, giving him some old plain black Converse.

She was so worked up due to the fact that it was the 7th party that month they would attend to that had a guest list -if you can call it that way- containing no name they had ever heard of, or wanted to hear of. But that was the thing, it was about excitement and discovering the unknown, or at least that's what Stacey said all the time so logic wouldn't come as an obstacle in the matter.

Joni was putting on one shoe when he couldn't take it any more "Okay Stacey, what the hell is with you and these parties anyway?" he said, because of course like the good childhood best friend he was, he had to be there for all her whacked up adventures, except this were just wild parties which none of the two ever really enjoyed. So much for adventure.

"Gosh... do we really need to discuss this right now? I've told you they're fun, we have to try new things..." she said looking at her watch, noticing it didn't have battery since last week "Hurry, we'll be late."

This had become one of those problems Joni hated, but not because he didn't like drama, but because it was like in the shitty teenage TV shows where for some reason the episode features how Rosa, the latin immigrant, starts to have drug problems, and with an intervention of her friends she quits, of course this all happens in one single episode. And now Joni saw the intervention coming.

"Look I don't know if you're on drugs or your parents want you to go back to Puerto Rico; but this has to stop, we don't know any-fucking-body at these underground places you take me. And what's worse is that we always end up in a corner talking about the dumbest things, which we could do here. Oh and of course, we meet the occasional pothead who wants to score with you" he said, he expected some discussion to begin where she would end up crying and telling him all about her problems with some guy named Richie, or maybe Joni watched too much TV.

"Puerto Rico? What the hell are you talking about? And mister, just for the record potheads have also wanted to score with you, remember that guy with the green beard?" Stacey said, bringing some sort of comedy relief into the atmosphere.

"That's beside the point. And he was not addicted, he was just going through a harsh time in life..." Joni said, trying to get off his record drug addicts. "The point is, Stacey, what the hell are we doing?"

She sighed, and then opened her mouth but only mumble was heard "It's just that I..." she sighed again. "You know how we talked the other day about there being books you wish you had read already just because they're classics and it's like mandatory, but you would die of boredom reading them?" She was trying to make a point.

"Are you trying to make a point, because if not that's some nasty change of topic" Joni said remembering how he only commented on never reading The Great Gatsby, and how that developed into a huge monologue where Stacey amused herself for hours.

"Well, these parties, these things we go to are like that. I don't really enjoy getting drunk in God knows what warehouse in the middle of nothing with a bunch of strangers. Actually I don't enjoy any of this, any of the common social shit we are supposed to do like teenagers. I'm awkward, I don't have a freaking idea of how to dance techno, I never know what to say, I can't act cool to save my life. It's like having to try too hard for something that I'm supposed to be liking" she said, she had entered into a nervous breakdown, sort of what Joni expected but not so much.

"So this is not about Richie I guess" Joni didn't know where this was going

"Who the hell is Richie?"

"Never mind, so why do you keep doing this? Why do you keep dragging me to these places if you fucking hate it so much?" Now he was pissed, all those nights he could have stayed home and tune the Project Runway recaps...

"Don't you see? This is like those books Joni, this is the Great Gatsby, this is Moby Dick and Oliver freaking Twist. The parts of life we are expected to live but we are not so into... Just like I don't want to go to a literature major without reading those books, I can't conceive reaching adulthood without doing these crazy ass things. And so I have to do it, we have to do it, so we don't miss a thing."She was not sure of making any sense, even to herself, but it didn’t matter because the TV melodrama had kicked in.

“Listen Stacey, I honestly got kind of lost in your ramble, but if you don’t want to go or you don’t want to do any of this social conventions, then don’t.” Joni was now actually not getting his line from a ridiculous TV teen drama. “Fuck ‘em all, if you want to reach your forties being a virgin who has never taken a shot of cheap rum then be proud of that, because the world is full of skanks, who needs more?”

Stacey had broke into tears half into the nervous breakdown but she couldn’t help but to smile and throw her arms to Joni.

“You’re a fucking idiot you know” she said, grasping his torso harder.

“You won’t let me forget it” they laughed, but the sort of laugh that comes when realizing there is no more that can be done about the boring lives that belong to one, not the sort of happy ending laugh.

“You know, it’s just that I get too anxious thinking of these Quixotes and Iliads… I feel like I’m missing out of so much” she said, noticing her poorly done make up was ruined.

“Well, don’t rush it, if you want to do it let it be a decision not some anxious reflex. You gotta make yourself happy, and I hear nerdy losers can be very happy too you know”

“jerk”

“depressive maniac”

“Diney Channel freak”

“bitch”

“fag”

“I love you…”

“mee too”


Pat

Posted by Mrs. Kite | Posted in | Posted on Tuesday, December 29, 2009

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I met a child, he told me his name was Jim, but I liked calling him Pat, because he looked like a Pat to me. He didn't know I called him Pat, it was only in my head that I called him like that, but since I lack of mind-real world coordination sometimes, I usually called him 'Hey you!' to avoid awkard moments just in case some time a Pat sliped.
So this Pat boy, he loved dinasours, just as most 90's kids who saw Jurassic Park. He claimed he wanted to be a paleonthologist or a Power Ranger. He would make drawings of this two possible outcomes and hang them in his door. Well anyways, he once told me a story about a boy who wanted to be a Paleonthologist or a Power Ranger and I asked him: 'Isn't that you?', and he said 'No, he's just a character'....

Oh yes...

La pirata del aburrimiento

Posted by I'm the penguin | Posted in | Posted on Wednesday, December 16, 2009

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La capitana Kararrosa con su nave el Nube veloz, era una temida pirata en los trece océanos de menjurge, ella y su tripulación eran un grupo de despiadados piratas que atacaban y amotinaban a cuanto barco podían, tomaban todo y luego huían, dejando a las embarcaciones víctimas confundidas y azonzadas. Pero Kararrosa no era una pirata corriente como los que andan detrás del oro y esas trivialidades, ella traficaba algo mucho más serio: el aburrimiento. No que lo transportara, lo atacaba. Es por eso que sus embarques favoritos por tomar eran aquellos de burócratas y contadores. Sus municiones constaban de risas y chocolate.

Su ataque era muy ruidoso, como cuando hundieron el S.S. Muchoseso, comenzaron por emanar olas de música por las corrientes del pacífico, y prosiguieron por lanzarse en cañones de resorte hacia la embarcación. Uno tras otro, los bucaneros de Kararrosa se introducían en el tubo amarillo pastel y luego salían disparados a velocidad increíble hasta la cubierta del otro barco, donde les esperaba un gran colchón previamente puesto.

Al llegar allí Kararrosa se anunció con silbatos y tambores, interrumpiendo el silencio de los señores burócratas. Al ver que comenzaban a salir de sus aletargadas y grises habitaciones la capitana dio la orden –bucaneros, ¡al ataque!- Entonces empezó un lanzamiento de caramelos y serpentina contra los hombres, seguido de un tiroteo a quemarropa de espuma de colores, dejándolos inmóviles. Una vez los señores confundidos, la tripulación del Nube veloz registró el barco entero buscando artículos de valor aburril, esto llámese pesadas constituciones antiguas, colecciones de pelusas por grado de densidad y cualquier otro instrumento de tortura.

Una vez que tuvieron el motín, la capitana Kararrosa prosiguió por su parte favorita, la ejecución de sus aburridas victimas. Se paró firmemente delante de ellos y les vio como quien inspecciona a un bicho para ver si sigue vivo después del chanclazo o no.

–Señorita, pero que le ha pasado a su pierna- preguntó un preocupado burócrata al ver que la joven Kararosa portaba una pata de palo.

-¿Acaso le di permiso de hablar?- preguntó la capitana con severidad, el señor solo agachó la cabeza –descuide, es de juguete- dijo la capitana risueña mostrando la removibilidad de su amenazante pata de fina caoba.

–Señores adultos, a caso ¿son ustedes culpables de ser unos aburridos caralarga sin remédio?- porfirió la capitana, sonando más a juicio que a pregunta. Los burócratas no sabían que contestar, aún no sabían si quiera si el ataque de piratas con parches de papel y una capitana con una pata de palo falsa, podía ser cierto; no consideraron que pudiera ser una broma, ya que aunque esta amotinara su barco no la podrían distinguir.

-Pues nuestras ocupaciones nos obligan a llevar vidas pacíficas y de contemplación- respondió un hombre cuyo tono de piel era tan gris como su corbatín.

-Ajá, con que culpando a su obligación eh? ¡Pues aquí se acabó su vida de tomar el té a l misma hora todos los días y dormir antes de que anochezca!- dijo la capitana, alzando el brazo triunfante mientras la tripulación lanzaba alaridos de aprobación- Dospapadas, dame la espada- le dijo Kararrosa a un joven corpulento que llevaba un gran saco lleno de armas. Al ver esto el grupo de hombres grises temió y como pudieron si hicieron bolita entre ellos, entonces vieron como Dospapadas le daba a su jefa una larga y fina hoja azul transparente.

-Y por el poder que me confiere la gran espada de azúcar cristalizada, yo los libero de su vida de aburrimiento- dijo la joven pirata mientras la tripulación volvía a gritar de emoción. Entonces, sostuvo la espada en alto y la abalanzó contra los burócratas, cortando la espesa capa de espuma de colores. –Ahora, ¡a festejar!- gritó la capitana, concluyendo la ejecución de insípidas vidas de rutina y comenzando la fiesta.

Los bucaneros sacaron de sus cantimploras jugos de colores fosforescentes, y sabores innombrables, servidos en cocos, cascos y caracolas. A los señores grises les era muy difícil entender que sucedía, pero como los piratas ya sabían, la fiebre dulce es muy muy contagiosa. Así que después de unos cuantos tragos de jugos de piñaguaranja y manzarazdía, moverse al ritmo del redoble de Arritmo, el pirata musical, y comer chocolate hasta no poder más los aburridos; los entes grises habían muerto y solo quedaban alegres hombres que solían ser burócratas.

Al amanecer el otro día la tripulación se dio cuenta que el S.S. Muchoseso se había partido en dos debido a la alocada fiesta, los fuegos artificiales y el desbordamiento de alegría. Los aturdidos hombres nuevos despertaron y rieron al ver su antigua nave. Al final se tomó la decisión de que algunos de los antiguos burócratas de unirían a la tripulación del Nube veloz y los otros nadarían a tierra donde reharían sus vidas, se sentían capaces de conquistar el mundo a risas si eso se propusieran.



[ si, ya me lo dijeron. yo tampoco se, dejemoslo en experimento que nunca debe repetirse]

Su primera

Posted by I'm the penguin | Posted in | Posted on Monday, November 30, 2009

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Fernando tenía dieciséis años y se encontraba en una cama ajena haciendo algo que hace unos días nunca hubiera creído posible.

-pero no me la creo- se decía, agitado y revoloteado

-No exageres, no ha estado tan bueno, yo ya lo he hecho varias veces y no es la gran cosa- le decía Rubén mientras se levantaba de la cama y se ponía zapatos.

-Bueno, dejalo a uno disfrutar su primera no? Que yo no tengo diario el aparatito ese- Fernando ahora hacía un pequeño pseudo- baile con las manos, el cual ni muerto se dejaría ver haciendo por cualquier persona, pero era la emoción, por fin lo había hecho.

-Y que crees ¿que lo uso de a diario?- Rubén trataba de disimular sus cientos de horas solitarias con el dichoso aparato.

-Fue fantástico cuando te cambiaste de lado y apretaste no se qué que todo cambio hasta de color- comentó Fernando aún agitado

-No fue para tanto, es cosa de practica- le confesó Rubén –bueno, y la verdad también leí una que otra cosa en internet.

-Da igual, apuesto que la próxima lo hago mejor- sencillamente ese día a Fernando no le tiraban la sonrisa

-¿Quién dijo que va a haber próxima vez?- Por alguna razón ahora Rubén le daba por hacerse el difícil

-Bueno, si me deja su majestad la reina de Mónaco-

Rubén se río -Es broma, ahí cuando quieras- dijo mientras se amarraba las agujetas.

-Cómo sea, que solo fue pasar un video jueguito- Fernando no podía ocultar que Antes del grito final era el mejor juego de peleas del mundo, lástima que no tuviera ni el juego ni la consola en su casa.

-De todas formas, yo siempre termino sobre ti- acabó diciendo Rubén, con una sonrisa complaciente.


[so... i have like 25 days left and I'm 13 stories behind...]

Ella y yo (parte I)

Posted by I'm the penguin | Posted in | Posted on Thursday, October 15, 2009

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En cuanto abrí los ojos no me percate que ella estaba ahí, únicamente noté que el fulano de ayer se había marchado, aparentemente ya era tarde. Como en cualquier otro día me senté en la cama a esperar que a algo dentro de mí le apeteciera levantarse y hacer algo; a veces solía esperar por horas a que eso pasara. Mientras ella estaba sentada en la esquina de la cama, recta, sin movimiento, estoica en su mirar.

Le di los buenos días y como de costumbre sólo me devolvió una mirada vacía. Por su sentado pareciera que llevaba en ese sitio años, o siglos, o que ella siempre estuvo sentada allí y que la mera existencia de mi cama o de cualquier otra cosa era simple coincidencia. Hacía eso cuando yo traía hombres a la cama, sentarse en una esquina esperando. Por lo general se mantenía a mi lado siempre, tanto que ya ni me daba cuenta.

La verdad es que esta no es una de esas cosas a las que se acostumbra una, y sí, era mucho más raro en un principio, pero por alguna razón nunca se vuelve común que la muerte te siga, aunque sea por años ya. No sabría decir cuando empezó, o porque, simplemente me comenzó a seguir. Por las mañanas se encuentra a mi lado, siempre está a donde voy y a la hora del café no se la ve a más de un metro de mí. Eso sí, jamás habla, o se mueve, es fría e incorpórea, hasta a la vista se puede ver eso en ella; y aún así hay una familiaridad en ella tan única que hizo que no sintiera miedo al tenerla junto.

En un principio creí que era mi hora, y que su aparición era un aviso de buena gana de que prepare mis cosas, pero con los años deseché esa posibilidad, no tendría caso seguirme por tanto tiempo si era solo para levarme. Pero fue hasta una noche cualquiera cuando la sentí más junto, cuando por primera vez sentí que se acercaba a mí y no solo se mantenía a la distancia.

Esa noche, antes de dormir sentía como ella trepaba a la cama, sin mover nada, como si flotara. Luego se acercó a mí, lo sentía, y puso su dentadura junto a mi oreja y comenzó a susurrar algo. No discernía ningún sonido, solo lejanos susurros que gritaban algo, voces de todos colores salían de su boca sin decir nada. Y entonces comenzaban, las voces se convertían en visiones, en olores y gustos. Como si los susurros me llevaran a otra parte, y esa vez aparecí en una raquítica habitación en Paris, podía ver la torre desde la ventana.

No tenía idea de donde estaba, de hecho no estaba yo allí, corpóreamente digo. Pero sentía todo, el frío de la noche, la sinfonía nocturna de una ciudad que nunca dormía y los olores penetrantes de pinturas secas y viejas. Y después de notar todo el entorno fue cuando vi al hombre. Estaba en su escritorio sosteniendo un delgado pincel y tallándolo contra un lienzo a la luz de las velas. No era viejo, pero se le veía acabado y enfermo, fue cuando lo vi toser sangre que supe que hacía allí. Ella apareció junto a mí y me miro, señalo el trabajo del hombre, pinturas sensacionales de un arte decadente, pero ella no me quería mostrar eso. Más bien me mostró su vida, lo que hacía y lo que lo mantenía con vida.

Nunca me había percatado de tanto en una persona, fue como si de pronto ese artista fuera alguien que siempre había conocido, un viejo amigo que dejé de ver desde el funeral de su tío en Viena, aún si nunca en mi vida he ido a Austria. Y fue cuando me sentí más identificada a él cuando ella lo tomó por el hombro. El se volteó y la reconoció de inmediato, se levantó lentamente y antes de dejar el pincel le rogó que lo dejara terminar las últimas pinceladas de su cuadro. Fue así que a la luz de velas consumidas esperamos a que terminada su última obra, y después de garabatear su firma nos fuimos los tres y nunca se nos volvió a ver en ese lugar.

Al despertar en mi cama después de eso no sabía que pensar, no sabía en verdad nada. Ya era algo tétrico y descabellado que un esqueleto inmóvil tapujado por sabanas hechas de arena y siglos me siguiera a todos lados. Pero haber visto la ida de ese hombre era algo que no podía explicar, -quizá había sido solo un sueño- pensé en un principio. Pero no pasó mucho para que esos sueños se repitieran.

Una semana después de eso me aparecí en el viejo departamento de un boxeador de los años cincuentas, ahora era un anciano ebrio y sucio. Algún día había sido un campeón, con la frente en alto y una vida por delante, en sus últimos momentos fue capaz de llorarle a la muerte y retarla a una pelea. Pero como él sabía, y todos en el fondo estamos seguros, esa es una pelea que hemos perdido desde el momento en el que nacimos.

Después nos encontramos en el cuarto de hospital de una anciana, que estaba rodeada de gente cuidándola, abrazándola y queriéndola. En cuanto nos vio sabía a que habíamos llegado, y no titubeó en despedirse del presente vivo y el pasado empolvado; lo único que le costó fue despedirse también del futuro, pero ella entendía, y caminó fuera de ese hospital con la muerte y conmigo.

Esas fueron experiencias únicas y conmovedoras. Había llegado a la conclusión que claramente no eran sueños, que era gente de verdad que había muerto, gente que por alguna razón la muerte me estaba mostrando a mí, gente que nunca había visto, algunos habían muerto hace décadas ya, otros eran gente que moriría en algunos años. Desconocía la razón por la que tenía que verlos, especialmente a ellos. No había algún patrón, llegué a ver la ida de un humilde barrendero y la de un capo de mafia, vi como peleaba por su vida un viejo pescador, y como le agradecía su presencia un adolecente deprimido.



Suffocating silence

Posted by I'm the penguin | Posted in | Posted on Sunday, September 27, 2009

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He walks to his house, find the keys in his pocket and unlocks the door. He proceeds to go directly to his room and closes the entrance. He then stands next to the wall waiting for the silence to be broken, then like a saw cutting through silk his mother's voice is listened "Are you home?!" echoing in the almost empty house. "Yes" he answers silently, then hopes he doesn't have to repeat it. Because all his stuff is there, his mother and father live in that house, he sleeps and eats with them, yet under no circumstance would he call it "home".

He sits down and takes a deep breath, like he has seen people doing to blow off steam of the day, yet it doesn't do half as good for him as it does to people on TV. His problem is not what happened in the day, but what he knows was going to unavoidably happen later. So he silently waits sitting by his desk, being able to listen to the tick-tacks coming from the wall clock at his left. He then contemplates the room, but doesn't notice the carpet, or the National Geographic dinosaur posters, or even the window with sight to the park, he is admiring the silence, the beauty at which it just is, while it lasts.

Because he knows that fifteen minutes later, when he hears the entrance door slam, and his mother coming out of her room, he knows it won't even take them five minutes for it to start. For his dad's voice to yell the same slashing and tired words, for his mother to throw all her dead and swollen desires in his face to create some sort of guilt. He learnt the lines a while ago now, they don't say anything different, they haven't been any different in a while.

Yet he listens, even when it hurts, even when he knows he isn't going to find anything new in their fighting, he forces himself to listen the whole thing. Maybe it's his way of making sure they don't kill each other, maybe it's just better to be hurt but to know what's happening. Whatever the reason is, he sometimes tries hard not to care, it never works.

So this time the screaming figures take their positions on time, each contender takes its rightful corner and the match starts. Back in his room he paralyzes, because right there it is no longer mom and dad, it's some man named Dylan complaining about working overtime, and a woman named Linda who got pregnant before she could travel the world, or any other she mentions young people do. They are not his parents because if they were it would be too much, they would be making him terrible damage, but since they are just Dylan and Linda, what harm does it do?

He is frozen at the sound of all, and even when it has never worked before he tires, to avoid being the spectator in the ring. He tries hard to think of the dinosaurs, it doesn't work, he only thinks of female T-rex complaining to male T-rex about how she never accomplished anything. He tries to doodle in his notebook, but it only resembles the sometimes broken glasses on the floor after Dylan throws stuff around.

Then he has nothing left but his school bag, homework won't do, he knows that. But then finds the book he is supposed to be reading since summer now, he hasn't opened it yet. He sees it, in the cover there is this big bird that has no feathers, or is drawn by any lines. This bird is only shaped colors, no limits, no shades. And for a second he can almost see it moving, like the fact of it having no limits could make it come out of the book at any second.

He focuses on the big bird and the pretty colors. Because it is not only about it being almost alive, it's lack of texture and shade is like it has no dimension at all. As is it was only colors, and sound, sound too. He could now listen it, the swirling wind whistling in his ears. Yes! the vibrant wind running rapidly and moving everything around, he hears the swoosh's and the swish's. The only thing he can listen is the wind, and feel it. He now also feels it in his cheeks and face, it feels like a cool breeze when he inhales, the can touch it running between his fingers making them move slightly. He is being lifted and carried by this wind and this bird.

He can now only see the colors, the intense reds and blues, and greens and oranges. The only thing in his mind is the sound of the roaring gale and how it carries him along with the bird and they fly. And there's nothing else there, just the wind and the bird, and him. He flies and grasps the notion that his body is weightless, that he and the colors are the same. He si flying everywhere and nowhere. He is home, finally.

Then he is able to listen something else from the distance, it's calling him. He doesn't want to, but he has to land, the new sound approaches and disturbs the colors. He can't palpate what in this place would be, until the source of the noise find a face:him. "Geooorge!" he doesn't want to go "George come here right now!" he refuses to leave "George, don't listen to your mother, stay in your room" it is too late, the colors are gone.

At his arrival, the contenders are still in combat, they are now including him, like when things get ugly. That was why he oughted to stay, in case they needed him, in case he could stop it. But he knew too that nothing he could do would call it even, so he just listened the rest of it, like always, without a choice but to wait for them to rest and begin another day.





[there is never an excuse when you need one not to feel guilty]

How the first one happened

Posted by I'm the penguin | Posted in | Posted on Saturday, September 19, 2009

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So, it started with this like conflict between every country , they had this empires, which were like sweatshops, but instead of just working minorities like Chinese people, they were entire countries. And it was sort of okay for a while, but you know they were having administrative changes and people were gathering and separating, countries were being formed and stuff, the British had a queen, the French didn't, the Germans were kinda the alpha bitch.

They were really cunning, like in those shows of mean teens where they say one thing to their faces and then they talk shit about each other. And it was like that, until Serbia, who wanted to gather up with all its hommies was like "Oh no you didn't bitch" when Austria took Bosnia. And so then Serbia called Russia, who was like much more popular and richer, and Russia was pissed because he had made pinky promise to help all those new born countries like Bosnia, and Austria was being a jerk.

So Russia was like "Hey man, what's up!" and Austria was like "Yea you know, Idc" and was a total bitch because she was bffs with Germany who came right away and was like "If you know what's good for you, you'll mind your own business bitch" and so Russia was really pissed, but since he had had a big fight with Japan, he was in no conditions to start a cat fight, so he just took off.

But like it happens with this things, Russia swore revenge, and you know you don't want some cold ass bunkers neglecting you your Absolute. Aha. Well after this Germany was feeling the shit, and had this guy Otto as a PR (public relations... no pun intended) who was like really good at making people believe they were best pals, and he made bffs bracelets with Austria-Hungary and with Italy, and they called themselves the Triple Alliance, I know, it is so not classy but whatever. At the same time Otto knew France was like really popular too, so he kept a casual friendship with them, while trying to be nice with Russia.

This Otto guy was okay, until William II took over and was like "We don't need no friendship with those bitches, we're just fine the three of us" so he totally busted the relationship with Russia and France. I mean Germany was the queen, but after this France and Russia were like "You hate that goatfucker sunuvabitch, i hate him too, let's hang out" And so Russia and France became buddies, and Great Britain has always been best Frienemies with France, so the three of them got together , they called themselves the triple entente. If you ask me these people needed some creativity, but whatever.

So the bands were made and you know there's tension when the alpha bitches start teasing the others, who were too pretty damn right popular themselves. But it was at Bosnia's party when it all went wrong, this prep jock from Austria's squad, Franz Something was just chilling when all of the sudden a text was sent to everyone with a video of him last Christmas. I don't want to go into details about what was in that anonymous text, but it killed him, socially speaking. He was never seen in any self-respecting party ever since.

And you know Austria wouldn't have give a damn about that any other day of the week, but she knew she could blame it on Serbia, after the whole "I take your friend and diss Russia" thing. It was later known that it was Bosnia herself who sent that text, but Austria wouldn't care. And that bitch wasn't stupid, it was until rich-kid-Germany gave her permission that Austria went all commando on Serbia. Even if they knew big brother Russia would take some action.

Germany warned Russia but this time Russia was like "You can shove your goddam warning up your beer spitting ass" and you know how this is, one bitch messes with one of the gang, and it gets the whole effing gang. So for some stupid excuse Germany declared war on France, and then GB threw a margarita to Germany's new Hugo Boss. It all went messy with this guys.

Germany stole from France, Austria posted some gossip about Serbia and pals, Russia was all "am a kill you now bitch", and it was all bloody murder. Then Italy was backstabbing, making alliances with France, she ditched Austria and Germany, who were all "you two timing slut!" but she didn't care, she fought those two bitches.

I don't really think we have to get into details about everything that happened, but you must know it got ugly, and that Germany was pretty much kicking ass. But then the new girl in town showed up in her red, blue and white Marc Jacobs with a puff up blond hair and some out of season boots, America, noveau riche. She had the big guns, the big words and the big bucks. It was not clear who to pair with, since nobody could know the outcome, but GB and her came since way back, so she just made some lame ass excuse that Germany had done her wrong. So she joined forces with the Ententes.

After all the cat fighting and flaming, and bitching they were tired, but America, well she had just put on her dance shoes, and was planning to party until dawn. Even if Germany had been the queen and all, the whole Double Alliance didn't last for too long, they were completely destroyed, not to show their faces ever again in that part of the continent.

So after making the official dethroning and public humilliation of Germany and Austria, Entente took over. They even made this gathering where they forced Germany to take all the blame and repay for all of her mischief. After they were done with her, she was not even recognizable in the streets, which was kind of sad, but that bitch had it coming. She was forbidden to ever talk to Austria, diminished to one text a day, and crippled to not buying any high couture ever again.

But even if she was only shreds of what she used to be, Germany swore she would raise again, and we all know what happened after that, with all the racists and the fascists. But that's sort of another story, and I would not like to be such a gossip.


[so out of line, so out of line...]

Sabor a envoltura

Posted by SgtPepper | Posted in | Posted on Monday, September 07, 2009

0

Cuando se es una envoltura se sabe desde un principio que esos pequeños ojitos con pericia y hambre, no lo ven a uno con el fin de comerlo, ni mucho menos con la intención de conservarlo. Cuando se es una envoltura, uno sabe que vale lo mismo que una tapa de pepino, lo que importa es que te quiten de en medio. Y una vez asumida esta verdad, la vida tiende a ya no deprimir tanto.

Pero con ella fue distinto, sin duda se trató de un regalo a ella de algún abuelo, unos cuantos crujidos y por mera obra de suerte acabé rota en su bolsillo. Y como a veces pasa, fui olvidada, pero siempre a la expectativa de una mano fregosa que gritara a la distancia algo como -¡Un día de estos van a salir ratas de tus pantalones!- Pero nunca llegó, de hecho, cuando por fin me encontraron fui analizada de cerca, meticulosamente viendo los pliegues y dobladillos acumulados por el reposo. Y después del análisis me lamió, pasó su calida lengua por todas las ranuras, como si fuera hace segundos que me separé del dulce, pero no era así. Más tarde acabé en una caja.

Conozco los botes de basura, y se que aunque sea por poco, esta caja no lo era. Otros triques y chucherías olvidadas, envueltas con un olor penetrante a añejo y conservadas en lo que luego aprendería que eran litros de nostalgia. Estaba obscuro y silencioso casi todo el tiempo, había figuritas de colores fosforescentes, notitas con tinta opaca, y uno que otro recorte, pero lo más impresionante era el cementerio de otras envolturas ahí, todas similares, bien pudiendo ser mis abuelas o primas políticas.

Y pasaba el tiempo, y se llenaba la caja, ya no era sorpresa ver como introducía envolturas nuevas, o triques de plástico barato, o chacharas de metal. La parte inesperada era cuando ella volvía y abría la caja, olía el contenido y nos sacaba una por una, y justo como la primera vez, pasaba su mirada escrutadora por toda mi superficie, estudiaba cada ranura hasta que volvía a aproximar sus papilas gustativas. No se dejaba de sentir extraño que lo hiciera, pero ya era una sensación familiar, lo que yo no concebía en un principio era que después de tanto tiempo que el sabor ya no estaba impregnado, ella siguiera probándolo. Pero con cada vez que esto se repetía, que ella volviera a probar una y otra vez el plástico desabrido, más entendía que lo que ella saboreaba no era el sabor a dulce, que hace ya muchos años ella no saboreaba el dulce.





[yes, I'm shameless just like that]
by I'm the penguin