I’ve always imagined alter-egos of people, alter-egos of their most deep, dark, artistic and even romantic (original sense) nature. As a visual person I am, I always imagine it in deep dark grays and reds and blues. I also picture people in folkloric clothing or the most bizarre things that would go along their personality. I have seen a girl I know, she lives in an abandoned monastery, she always wears blood red dresses and dark gaunts, she walks with boredom and passion at once, looking out for her rotten roses garden, they die the darkest in summer.

I have also seen this boy who lives in a theater at night, while nobody’s watching. Kind of like the phantom of the opera, but everyone around knew about him and saw him eventually. He lived there and recited the lines of every play he knew, while wearing nothing but black. Black suit, black masks and black intentions. He suffered of an unexplainable pain and would always bleed from healed injury, and gangrene from healthy tissue.

Then there was the tall old sage (because here fantasy can also occur). He lives in a lighthouse, he has travelled, he has been places, he is going places. But he has never left, and will never leave that lighthouse. It is next to a precipice that ends in the rocky ocean. There the clouds are always gray and always wet, but it doesn’t rain. Like the feeling of upcoming liberation that never comes. In his broken lighthouse he walks around in his deep indigo blue robes, taking books and not reading them, grabbing food and not eating it, inhaling air and not breathing it.

But what’s curious about this old sage is that every day after the twilight he climbs to the top of the lighthouse, he wraps himself in timeless blankets and then just jumps. He jumps off the li9ghthouse and into the cliff. His goal is not to hit the rocks, or die, or swim. His aim is to just fall, fall for as long as he can, having not control or ability to stop it, yet having nothing to worry about. Then, just as he hit the water and rocks and was all broken up he would grab himself and heal, and retire back to the lighthouse. Where would he again prepare for the jump.


just a though


by I'm the penguin