I was going back to school, from summer, as every year. And as I went into it's red brick walls I noticed it was kind of different. And it was not only the paint, or the people in there, the whole thing was different. The entire structure had changed, and I noticed, but somehow I knew it was still my school.

It was one of those days where the entire day the sky is violet and you can see the light of the moon, but no satellite in the sky. There was an atmosphere of mystery in the air, as if from the first moment I went in I knew what was about to happen, but then again, if I had known, I would have probably never went in.

The day started with me presenting myself to a bunch of people who looked nothing like the other guys I had went to school the last year, but I knew they were the same, faceless peers who were replaceable. And as it went on, a teacher who i didn't seem to recognize announced that some guy had died, but that was not the big news, the thing was that Iris (a friend of mine) was the number one suspect. Now, this was news because apparently Iris had gone missing just as the investigations began, which was quiet fishy, i must admit.

After some boring citizen responsibility speech given to students who were not old enough to be citizens, and requests "in the most kind of manners" to help with the investigations, the classes went on. And there, right there, after the third period I noticed it, it hit me hard, and harder after a while because I hadn't noticed before. That was not my school, those were not my teachers, and the naked apes surrounding me now were surely not the naked apes that affectionately I called classmates last year.

It was quiet very overwhelming, knowing that not did I only got the wrong class, but I got the wrong school! But for unknown reasons I was calmed, as if all along I had known that this was not my school the CSIN (center for socially incompetent nerds), it was another school, and I knew exactly which one was it, it was the ISH (institute of science for hippies). I knew quiet quickly for the archaic way the math teacher used his calculator, by the cynicism with which people skipped class, and of coarse the school's logo everywhere helped.

But let's continue with the main plot, because it seems that entering into a whole different school was quiet normal for me in that moon lighted day. As I said, the periods went by quickly, and I seemed to have some sort of group of friends, who I spent the free hour with. But then something interesting happened, the principal called me to his office. Now you must understand that this school, was not only filled with hippies, but it was also ran by priests, a wacko combination, I know, but that's how they roll.

So I went into the high priest's office, which unlike I thought wasn't decorated by the Vatican, it looked more like decorated by the Varinan. And in case you don't know what that is, check the local list for gay bars and you'll get an idea. But that was not the shocking part, because I was obviously not going to start judging people based on decoration after all those years of not even noticing it. What was really impressive was that the guy was barely on his late forties and in pretty good shape, and I seriously expected someone at least sixty five, with a cross shaped cane.

So Elliot, that was his name, started right with the big questions, as how would I describe my relationship with Iris, and I answered we were going to get married in a couple of months. Then he asked if I knew where she was, to which I admitted I was hiding her under my bed. And after a few more questions he kind of gave up.

"Young man, I don't like your sarcasm" he said, of course I felt terribly insulted, but then again, I was amazed someone of his career could understand it.
"This is a delicate business, a life was lost and the police thinks it has something to do with Iris Blackrose Gruning, and I pray the lord they're wrong, but for that we must find her" he said, looking what seemed like worried, I couldn't tell, the leather everything had an hypnotizing smell.

Then, after he gave up on me, and went out to look for the rest of Iris' friends, I searched the place. I have that annoying habit of trying to find mysteries that don't exist. So I looked in his drawers and there was nothing interesting, only some old confiscated magazines, administration papers and some picture of him holding a man obviously younger, nothing interesting. But then I looked at his post-its in his screen. They just read the names of people, but there was one, which I'm sure was a to-do list.

1. Get a new place to live
2. Buy tickets for Oasis
3. Adopt a kid
4. Help fight the global warming
5. Call to check dinner plans
6. Detonate school soccer field

It was really disturbing and somehow cool. An old man going to the Oasis concert! What a thing! Of course the getting-a-new-place thing was concerning, but I'm sure he would survive it, but seriously, tickets for Oasis!

Then, I returned to where the apes gathered to communicate and eat each other's fleas, which I noticed was not being done anymore lately. Some were actually kind of nice, some even knew how to develop an actual conversation, but again that was just part of the trying-not-to-die-of-boredom surviving instinct of me. I was really kind of thinking where might Iris be? And if she had or had not killed that man. And as that, I saw a pair of blue eyes that dazzled me, with the same bluntness as the first day I had see them.

"Iris! Hi! What are you doing here?" i said, quiet impressed to be honest

"Meh, I just went to the ladies room to skip class, how lame is that?" she answered, with the same emotionless voice she always had

"You are aware the police is searching for you right?" I asked, with a bit of concern in my voice

"Whatever, I mean, they think I went missing, but I've been in my room the whole time, now I came to school and it's on national news" she said, with a hint of irony.

And as bizarre as that conversation went, the whole thing was cleared, she had been in her room taking pictures of the wall while the murder had been executed. The camera had the whole proof. And later it was found that the death guy was actually murdered by a wildcat when he was taking a long walk in the forest. Very sad indeed, because he was actually there in a march to save that forest from being cut down.

And after the police was gone from school and the investigation was now directed to find that wild cat, Elliot suspended classes for the day and we had a lovely gathering at school. We chatted about what would we had done if Iris was truly a murderer, and how could some people like anchovies in their pizza.

Then I thanked Elliot for helping the cause against the global over population, and global warming. And after that I took off and never went back to that school, perhaps because the student body was boring, or maybe it was just not right for me, but it might just have been because it was not really my school.



[I still don't exist]
By I'm the penguin