I was at the cafeteria, minding my own business, and of course I by myself because you bitches were probably tramping over the place. As I was eating my sandwich, home made by my mama, who you know makes the best roast beef you've ever tasted, this guy stares at me. You know, first I though "That boy's up to no good", 'cause you know I can feel this things, I just know, I just know; like that time at the mall, when I predicted that girl was a size four lying to be a two.

But whatever, I just kept minding my own business while Mr. Gotta-lot-to-do kept staring. For a second I thought he was into me, because you gotta admit, you don't stare at the window unless you wanna buy it, but he was way too creepy. Just imagine a black Tom Cruise with no hair, no cute button eyes, and no style... yea a plain goddamn midget. The point is that after like two minutes of being really uncomfortable, the little guy gets up from his table and comes directly to me.

"Hey babe" he said

"Excuse me?!" no dwarf was allowed to go around calling me babe

"How about you give me some of that meat of yours" he said, with the grossest chuckle you can possible imagine

"That's just nasty..." I said, who the hell did he think he was? "Get you own sandwich bitch" Can you believe that guy?