"You are number fifteen in my list" he said, waving the drippling paper in his hand. He hadn't bee around her house ever since he had ckecked out of the hospital.

"What do you mean?" She asked, confused, seriously confused; she hadn't even heard what he had said, it just confused her to see him there, there in her front door, there for the first time in months. Had he remembered? Was he finally back?

"There is a list and you are on it, and you are the number fifteen" he said, worried, he seemed to have no clue of what he was speaking about, yet he seemed more awake than ever since he had woke up from the coma.

"Are you okay? C'ommon in, you're going to catch a cold" she said, in shock, her manners were in automatic mode, her moves were slappy and robotic. She was too busy wondering, thinking, connecting and hoping to make out anything out of that scene, but the fact that he was there.

Then he came in, his legs and shoes were soaked in mud, his shirt was dripling at the same rate as the rain, and his eyes were fixed in her, looking for any trace of expression that could lead him into knowing anything about the list. He had no memories of the last four years, just scarce remnants of blury images, and people and smells, every smell brought to him an instant memory which then would be along with the blurry pack of his forgotten life.

"Do you know what this means?" he asked again, with a red face, he was crying. He couldn't tell, she couldn't notice, but he was crying, the rain in his face covered it well, but tears shed down his eyes in desperation for answers.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about" She said, worried to fail to him, scared to lose him after all the time he had been gone. "Tell me more about it" she said, doing a futil attempt to make him feel better somehow.

"There is a list, it felt like I remembered something when I read it, and you are number fifteen, and it felt like something came back to me, like it was a gear for a machinery to start moving,then I got into the car and I’m here, why are you number 15?" he said, making few sense, sluttering and carcking by the word.

"Well, what’s the list about?" She was worried, she was hopeful, she was angry and she was curious. It could be nothing and he was all excited, she didn't want him to go back to a long term of depression, yet she knew that if Jake was back,  then things would go back to perfect, and right there they were shitty. And why on Earth would she be number fifteen?

"I don’t know… I was expecting you could tell me so" he said, starting to think it was not such a good idea to just go into someone's house about a hunch. After all, for him all these people were new, there were many of them trying to be supportive, all of them kind, but non of them could understand, he didn't remember any of them.

"Who are the others?" She asked, sympathizing with his anguish, yet working with her own storm in a glass bipolar feelings.

"People whose name I don't remember, I just remember you and came running, I should probably go" he said, directing to the door, and in another case Judith would have let him go, she would have tought he needed to work things on his own, like the book on Amnesia said (yes she had read a book on Anmesia just because of this). But this was different, he was storming out, he was running away, and that was Jake, her Jake, just running away, he was in there, somewhere.

"Don't go, please" she held his arm "I want to help you"he stopped and turned at her. "I don't want to bother, I just got carried away when I saw it" he said, still trying to get away. "No problem, really, we need to get you that memory back" she said, with a broad smile, tilting his arm playfully. "Okay" he said.

"Do you have it with you?" She asked, once they were in her room and he had explained everything clearly. 

"Yes, here it is." he said, holding it triumphantly, then he saw it "this won't help much will it?" he rhetorically asked, looking at a pasty mass with a muddy ink mess.

"Don't you remember the names?" she asked, going trough her bookshelf. "I don't think so," he said. "Maybe if I read the names for you" she said, taking the yearbook. "Let's start with the basics, your friends" she said, with a bit of a perk he didn't notice, because of course he didn't remember they actually didn't share any friends.

So she began "Alex Durnham", then  she waited for something, a response, a grunt, a something. Deep inside she wanted not to be Alex Durnham a part of the list, because then she would be mixed with the school's Jock McJerky, even if he was Jake's friends, she didin't want to be in any list he was. "Nope, I don't think so, most of the people in the lists were girls names" he said, relieving her greatly, yet reducing the list to a more intriguing group.

"Well, I'm sure you know all about you being in the basketball team, as well as in the language club, so it could either be your prepy friends, the cheerleaders (who were the same people), or the girls from the language club" Judith said, looking for the cheerleading page, which she naturally hadn't turned before. "I have been told a few, but I still don't see how could I have been in the Language club, I don't remember anything in other than english other than 'taco', which I'm sure is not french" he said, laughing for the first time after a while. It's nice, having him back, even without the memories, without the everything, it was nice. she though, she was young, and helplessly inlove.

"Reniee Blyton"
"Doesn't even sound real"
she giggled "Kimmie stweart"
"Well, that actually sounds familiar"

They went trough the names of all the cheerladers and preppy friends, out of which 10 names came out, Judith was starting to worry, how on earth would she be mingled with those people. They were definitly hus friends, but those people had nothing to do with her, actually none of them, including Jake, she used to think. Now they were making a list out of a yearbook in her room, she eating A Hundred Flavors Beans, and him wetting and messing the carpet.

Then they went trought the Language club, which apparently had an all girls alignment except from Jake and some exchange student kid. Out of there she got other four, therefore, completing a list of fifteen. "Is this all?" she asked, making her believe she was the last in the list. "For the way this looks, this is come kind of weird guest list for a party?" she asked to herslef, being that the most stupid hypothesis she could have heard out loud. "But isn't my birthday untill June?" he said, looking at the March marking calendar. "Well, yes this could have been done before" then she though troughfully, a year ago she thought Jake was just another basketball player. There was no way she would be on the list in that case.

They staied quiet for a while, she was thinking, he was thinking. Maybe it's a list of girls he liked? It would be kind of cruel to put her next to girl who could easily be in the cover of Seventeen or something like that. Cruel, yet sweet to put her. She thought. I wonder if this has anything to do with remembering anything... What if I'm just a list freak and hadn't tell anyone, maybe I was even planning to kill these girls or something. He thought.

"Was I the last one in the list?" she asked, trying to draw conclusions from all details. "I don't think so, there were sixteen listed names" he said, trying hard to rememeber. "Well, does looking at the picture of this girls reminds you of anything?" she said, showing him the yearbook. HE could smell grapes, nothing special about it, just grape flavored candy. "That smells familair" he said, staring at her mouth. 

"Oh, sorry, I eat them all the time" she said, laughing shamelessly "One of this they'll get me cavities." They bought laughed. Then, looking at one of the girls in the list, she was the one who had a memory. "Wasn't this one your girlfriend or something?" she said, pointing at a pretty redhead with too much eyeliner. "I'm sorry to tell you, but I don't remember" he said ", for real" he laughed hard, for once making a little fun of his condition.

"I'm sure I once saw you together with this tra...girl" she said, eyes with opened, realising her more than obvious jelousy expression. "Let me see" she said, then she looked around the names with the faces, turning and turning pages, scribling things in a note book she took from the drawer. "I think I know what this list is" she said, her voice showed no enthusiasm

"Half of this girls were with you at some point, at least I remember so, I didn't pay much attention back then" she said, kind of blaming him, kind of blaming herself for getting into this. "How come you conclude this? Didn't we star being friends this year? Or so my mom told me" he said. "Well, I'm in the least amI not?" she said, staring at him, trying to tell him for once and for all. "What?" his expression changed from deeply confused to surprised to almost scared. "Do you mean, you and I..." he said. "Yes, but it was sort of a secret, for some stupid reason"she said, turning her head to the other side, taking a Raspberry  Bean.

"Was I a jerk or something?" he said, indeed worried. She laughed and looked at him again "You were sweet, it was a mutual decision." He got closer to her, she got closer, he kissed her. Then it came. He smelled the raspberry bean, and just like Judith's book about Amnesia said, the memories stroke him in a weird way, without even thinking about it. Raspberry Bean was the same flavor she was eating the first time they kissed when she was tutoring him for a Biology quiz. He had paied her five bucks. She kept them.

Then, like an ocean wave revolving around a person who's lieng on the beach, who can't escape, yet it's not intese as to drown. He got squashed by the memories. Kissing Judith, hanign out with her, kissing her more, all the other girls each girl. Each girl hanging out and kissing, and making out and finally saying yes. Yes, and the day later they were in the list, each of them, not all of them his girlfriends. Yes and they were another memento ready to be forgotten in the closet of teenage triumphs. Judith was not the last on the list. Then he got crushed by a red mini van.

"What happened?" Judith asked, scared, Jake was shaking."Mildred Bronte" he said, feeling dirty, feeling guitly, feeling a jerk. "What?" she asked. "She's number 16" he said. "What do you mean?" she asked. He didn't answer. She understood, a quick trear fropped from her eye, "It's not a list of girlfriends is it?" she was now actually crying. "Not really"

[green voice was right]

By I'm the penguin