You silly boy

Posted by SgtPepper | Posted in | Posted on Monday, March 02, 2009

I hate the fact that I melt every time you call me Lura, even when it makes no sense and it sounds silly. You are silly. I hate the fact that your lame jokes made me roll my eyes and call you idiot and now they just create a warm fuzzy feeling in my chest; it seems this is too ending with my sense of humor. And something I can't stand is that these days I let you win in table hockey so you do that stupid little dance where you jump and smile goofily, because I can't help but to smile from very deep and feel joyous. You're just growing in me, and I hate you for that, but I simply can't stop it.

A few months ago I would have laughed at you when that girl in the second floor threw a bucket of water that fell right in your head, and then perhaps I would have yelled at the girl for being so careless. Yesterday I was worried you would get a cold, and curious of what could be seen beneath that tight white T-shirt. And while I was feeling it, it was normal, but then I think about it and it makes me nauseous, the mere thought of feeling this way about you makes me want to pull every hair off my scalp and scream. But it also makes me want to carve our names in a tree. You seriously damaged me.

And I don't know how it happened, I have no idea how you, above all the guys I know and I'm exposed to, you had to be the one I had a ridiculous crush on. Maybe it is because you are sweet, although I had always thought it was more like you were stupid. I like my coffee bitter with no sugar or cream, and you are a freaking latte. And I don't want to like lattes, I don't want to like you, and I definetly don't want to allow you call me Lura, when it is not even a nick name for Laura. 

But I have tried, I even saw you today eating a sanwich, which you ate like a pig. The mayoneese was slipping by your fingers, the lettuce was coming out of the down side, and the worst was that it was all mixed with some nasty chipotle sauce. But what happens? What does my little silly brain does? I think it is freaking cute. Damn, the patagonial rabbit is cute, baby seals are cute, even freaking wool balls look cute. Why on earth would I think that, the most disgusting thing in my day was cute? I hate hormones.

And the worst of it is that I can't even get all sweet and touchy feely, because that is not me. And I won't be any other than me, even if lately I'm not sure who that is. So I have to stick with hanging out, throwing paper balls at each other, and talking about retro video games. Because that is us, that is me refusing to like you, and that is you being obvlivious about it all. And so here I stand, unheard, unsatisfied, and unwilling.


[1. I promise I'll make a real post soon
  2. Well my character was inspired by two people I know, Mrs. Kite knows them both
  3. It is a work of fiction]

By I'm the penguin


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