For today's story I will speak about he-who-breaks-pasts. He broke my past in a way that no one would want their past to be broken, and that is because honestly nobody would want their whole life (lie) be torn apart by one single person. But it was also relieving, I was no longer chained to that lie (life) that made me feel so sorry and bad about myself, it was like a ballchain. But well, let's just say it was a mixture of feelings, or a roller coaster of emotions if you look for the cheesiness in this text.

So, he came into my life like everything new comes, he just appeared one day there. I had previous knowledge of his arrival, I knew what he could do, but in no moment did I consider he would have such an impact in it all. The first time I saw him, he was climbing down the stair, and I was sitted next to some friends. I remember it clearly, he was running down when he took a look at the room, and with all probabilities against it, he looked at me. And our eyes met for less than a second, but that was enough to know what was coming, or at least something deep and fearful in me told me it was happening. I always preffered to listen to that voice, but this was different.

The days passed by and this stranger was still around but I hadn't even crossed paths with him, not a word, not a glance. Looking back I kind of feel like a stalker, trying all day long to think of a way to pass next to him, to find a way to know something about him. It was all so useless, and in the process pieces of me were breaking, but I wasn't aware fo it, until the damage was done. You see, my past was constituted by all these little things that I held so dear, but where fragile for my entire life (lie) was built on hopes that someday I would fit in.

He didn't even notice me, obviously, and I think I didn't really wanted him to. He destroied me from the inside without even a word, without wanting to try or even knowing, we just made eye contact. But his skills of putting my world upside down were not his truly, they were in me, they were not infantil curiosity, they were something more complex. And as in anything complex, it was twisted, dark and confusing. It was me being a common Tereza looking for that meaning, looking for that someone with the secret password to the secret society I knew I had always belonged. And I thought he was Tomas, holding a password in the form of a book. I was just a weak, desperate Tereza.

But this story doesn't end with a life in the country side, it ends in blank. He just went back to wherever he came form, not knowing about me, or about him breaking me. He just left. I'm not saying I broke apart because of his departure, or because he was never coming back, he wasn't all that important. What was important was the symbol he incarnated, he was part of a secret society which was the only one where I could ever fit in, I didn't know anything about it, but I knew I would recognize the sign when I saw it. My whole slef ached to belong to said secret society, but I was just so clueless and far a way, and lost.

I'm still waiting for the invitation letter (the last one didn't come when I was 11)




[Tereza and Tomas are people who had the disgrace to be born characters who are doomed to repeat their whole drama over and over again. But aren't we all? (father:Milan Kundera) ]
By I'm the penguin

MEME thing... It seems Mr. Penguin is not a common name... so I chose that other silly Alias

looks like tmo shadow 2 (hey I didn't say the alias was common m'kay?)

needs to learn a lot in the defense department (just when one thinks masks can be worn as shields)

kewl. Stephanie says: i have dreams about him o_O. Mr.Penguin says: ... Mr.Penguin says: hmm k. Stephanie says: im gunna cry bcuz hes so BEAUTIFUL ...(geez we were just talking about Ronald McDonald, chicks are crazy)

does not want Holland's Euro 2008 campaign to be remembered just for the pretty football.(he also wants the hooligan outrage to be carved in the expecator's minds)

hates breathing warm air videos, video clips & video blogs (why can't you just write? is you're grammer teth bath?)

asks for residents' feedback on budget (okay, maybe "asks" is an understatement when you're threatening with making a plane turbine come from the future and crash everyone's homes [obscure Donnie Darko reference])

likes Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it). (who doesn't love a movie told by a guy without four theet who missed to say Uncle Ben used to know Vader until the end of the thing)

eats a bite of a muffin during a break in his practice session on Rod Laver Arena (he needs all those calories from chocalate gloriousness)

wears a gold ring round his finger. (it is the one ring... to rule them all!)

was arrested Friday morning on charges of driving under the influence. (in my diffence, it was euphoria, not the cheap vodka they say it was)