Previously in [insert name for this story] Greg and Aiden went to a place and made stuff for more conclusive summaries read the whole thing.

So I took a complete cup, and in my decision to be cool and drink for the first time, I stood up and saw all the bottles, with all the brands and all the half empty sodas. I was truly clueless about what should one do. But then CIA Steven came into rescue, took the cup “Gosh, this freshmen, they don’t even know how to pour a drink. I’m telling you, each year they make them dumber” he said, actually thinking I was a freshman, when in fact I was a junior, and he a sophomore, but it was all about not tagging that night.

So after he gave me the cup with less than 3/4 of the content, I sipped. Maybe it was because my first experience with alcohol was when my grandpa gave me eggnog and hours later I puked, or it was the fact that it was a solution with more ethanol than carbonated water; but regardless of the reason, I spat. It just felt like a deep hit of bitterness and antibacterial, with a hint of lemon. The unavoidable reaction was laughter from the others, that damned peer pressure, not even Pascal could have imagined its power.

So, in a turning of events, an act of boldness, and perhaps stupidity—okay, very certainly stupidity—I tried to drink more, with long and bitter mouthfuls, I held my breath and prayed there wasn’t instant liver damage. At the end three guys were staring kind of impressed, I was feeling sick already, and the cup was empty. I didn’t spat, but I was two mental please don’t puke away from showing everyone my lunch.

“Woah!, and here was I thinking you were just another pathetic freshman” said Steven, perhaps not seeing my disgust face please don’t puke, “You had me fooled with the not drinking act” he said, thinking I was cool, I was please don’t puke. “I mean, seriously, someone who doesn’t drink couldn’t have had a whole cup of tequila with lime soda in one shot” please don’t puke. It really didn’t help that I had memorized all consequences in short and long term of alcohol for biology class or something, the point was that I was feeling kind of dizzy. Please don’t puke.

“I think I’ll go to the rest room” I said, with the little air left in my throat. So I ran to the restroom and without even closing the door I reached the toilet and put my head inside. While I was there thinking about life and how sanitary was this, when I pitied myself about puking with one single drink, I was seriously not made for this. Then, when I was done emptying my whole self, I heard the door slam closed, maybe people weren’t up for such a show. I stood up and went to the mirror, it was dark and I couldn’t really see myself, yet I stared at it, while trying to wash my hands.

Just when I was about to open the door I heard some yelling, they weren’t OMG-this-party-is-so-great screams, they were I’m-freaking-pissed yelling. So for some reason my instincts triggered to open the door instead of hiding, or just doing anything, Darwin would have been so disappointed. And in front of me was a girl yelling something like “Even you drama fairies are pigs!” and then doing something like slapping or pushing or something the guy in front of her. But I couldn’t really bet on any of that, I had just seen this morning’s food along with my dignity flushing down the toilet.

“The problem is that I’m a guy right? Seriously I can fix that for you” said the drama-fairy who is a pig. Then the room went silent as if that was one of those Oh-no-he-didn’t moments. It was in fact, since the girl came back fast and said—now this I remember well for the events to proceed—“I do dig guys, just real ones” she said, with a bitchy attitude that was another oh-no-she-didn’t moment. And then, just to prove her point, or sent by God/Newton’s ghost/A parallel universe, she turned around saw me, grabbed me by the jaws and approached her lips to mine.

I still had the puke taste in my mouth, the whole room was watching, tomorrow she wouldn’t remember or want to remember anything, probably the drama fairy was gonna beat the hell crap out of me, yet, it was the greatest moment in my life. No that was selfish, that was the greatest moment in all human history, it would be spoken of for centuries and… two seconds later it was over.

She turned around again and walked straight to the door and left, along with my pituitary hormones, mixed with testosterone and a bit of estrogen, commonly known as heart. The whole thing had happened in slow motion, yet was so fast. In matter of seconds the party went back to the inaudible noise and chaos. After such an event the whole universe must have been going into Entropy faster.

“Dude what the hell was that?” asked Aiden, who had appeared out of nowhere. “Do you know that girl?” he said, again something I couldn’t answer “I just expected you to talk to a few people, but I got to recognize, you’re a fast dog bro” said Aiden, laughing, hard. I knew he kind of meant it in a funny way, but it was right then I couldn’t tell a dead thread form a joke. Then Steven, who had probably wished for that same event happening to him for years, came along.

“Who is that?” I asked. Then, as if I had asked him if Santa wasn’t real he shook his head in sympathy. “She’s Amy Lowry, but she’s a lost cause dude, don’t even get excited” he said, turning into the dragon guarding my princess’ castle. I had read too much fairy tales. “What? Why?” I asked, in confusion. He was wrong, she loved me she really did, or she could… maybe. “I’m sorry dude. She’s this really hot pink-haired girl who makes us guys think she’s available. But she isn’t, you see, like two summers ago she went to some weird music camp, and there were a lot of people from the school, yet almost no one knew her. The point is that one night she was caught making out with her roommate, who happened to be a girl” he said, terminating all my sudden illusions of romantic sunsets. Alcohol made me so common.

“So what? You mean she’s gay?” I asked, later thinking if that was a political correct term. “Hey, you can’t jump into conclusions, maybe she was just…” said Aiden, probably wanting to cheer me up, he was so nice. “What? Experiment? Maybe, but ever since people talk about her and guys hit on her a lot. What happens is that she seduces them, gives them hope, just to later on crush them and storm out” said Steven, with such a feeling as if he was talking out of experience, which he wasn’t. “Maybe it’s just that she has had only bad guys” I said, trying not to extinguish the hope flame. “Nope, sorry, that’s what she does. She attracts you in and then kicks you in the balls and runs away” said Steven, being crudely honest, evaporating all the oxygen from my flame.

[yes this shall continue, i'll throw some links. Part one. Part two. Part three.]

By I'm the penguin