A lovely day in the park

Posted by SgtPepper | Posted in | Posted on Thursday, August 14, 2008

And they bark and bark, they screech, they cry, they scratch, they try. But I stay in my room with the doors locked, and it's not because of the dogs, they don't know how to open doors (yet). It's because of my stupid little nephews, they have the adorable habit of entering where they are not wanted, perhaps that's what got them into being born in the first place. And I have a pile of essays to write, books to read and equations to break. But does mom care? No, she just cares for the dogs to go out."They need the fresh air honey, and so do you" she says. Sure, fresh air, a fresh poo is what they will take, and I'll have to pick it as always. I hate the dogs.

So they reach a point in which I'm sure they'll leave permanent scars to the door and so I open, they tackle me, they lick me, the attack me, they kick me. After getting some paper bags, because mother is not only concerned about fresh air, she is also concerned about the environment, and that's why she does the groceries in her Hummer. We're finally out, and what do I see? A freaking bulldog standing right in front of us. And after a few barks, scratches and bites the dog finally leaves us alone, so we can go peacefully to the park.

In the way we find some old lady, the kind that have no life, no kids and no hopes to live for, so they stick with screwing everyone else's life. Well, then this lovely lady starts yelling at us(me), about how irresponsible was to leave the dog's fesses right on the street. The best part is that my dogs hadn't done anything, and wait for this... her tiny disgusting Chihuahua was stooling in the middle of the side walk! And she left it there!

Then, when we actually made it to the park, the dogs run all over the place, and then we find something more annoying than the actual dogs, actually more annoying than anything in the day. Little children. Sometimes people ask me "what is it that you hate so much about little kids?" And that's easy, everything! They are small, they want attention, they crawl, they make stupid questions, and they pick their nose. How could they be anything near to appealing?

So, this little children start yelling at us(my dogs). "Look! the doggie!" and "Aww how cuuute" or "Agh! Mommy, a dog!". But don't believe me to a hundred percent, because obviously their screams are not understandable for the normal human being, just for their mothers who seem to understand their code language. So I try to walk as I always so, walk a complete lap and get the hell crap out of there, but the kids decide it would be fun to get near the dogs. So their completely incompetent mothers let them get near to dogs who could chew off their heads in a heart beat (more like never) in the command of a complete stranger (the weirdo boy of the three dogs). And what happens? One of the animals gets near my dog, touches it, starts petting it, my dog walks away, boy cries. And what happens next? A furious stampede of ignorant mothers run to the crying creature and start petting it. Act followed by them blaming the dog of biting the kid.

I mean, when a small kid cries, and has no mark of a bite, or even saliva. It is OBVIOUS it cries because the dog bit it. So angry mothers start yelling at us(me) about how should we(I) be careful, and that it was irresponsibles to walk with aggressive dogs. And I felt compelled to listen to responsible parents who let their kids in the first place to go near to some dogs. So after listening (ignoring) some of the complains, I take off as soon as I can.

In the way home, the stool from the Chihuahua is still there, and the crazy old lady is still yelling. And the dogs seem not to understand why the trip was so short, so they bark some more. We finally arrive home, and as expected I have so serve them water. Then I go back inside with all the intentions of going back to my homework when mother approaches me and kindly says "Could you please take Hank and George to the park? They want to play football, and you know they can't go by themselves."

Fuck this

By I'm the penguin

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